A Quick Tip About Tipping Overseas
There’s a strange disconnect in the world of hospitality both here and abroad. And after working in restaurants, in hotels, in places where my wage barely covered the cost of my taxes for roughly fifteen years before I became a teacher, I think I’ve earned the right to speak on the subject. Especially now, in the United States, where there seems to be an expectation to tip your cashier at Tropical Smoothie, versus the situation overseas, where there seems to be some confusion about whether to tip anyone, ever.
On our first lunch in Switzerland, we landed at a French Cafe in Geneva where we struggled through the language, but managed to order (and share) a pot of cheese fondue and some sodas. Based on previous trips to the British Isles and France, I had this strange, awkward feeling about how to approach the end of the meal. All I knew was that they generally leave you alone and never bring the check unless you ask, so as not to seem pushy, which I appreciated. But when I asked for the check, he brought it over with a card reader and told me the price. There was no line for leaving a tip and no mention of it by the server, so I simply ran the card and we left. But I felt absolutely awful, like I had just done precisely the opposite of my instinct. Because in the United States, after all those years of waiting tables, I tend to over tip, like 25-30% when I can, so simply paying the bill and walking away left me with a heavy sense of doubt, like I had done something wrong. Fortunately, for most of our other meals that next week, we had a quiet chalet at the base of Mount Eiger, so we could pick up meals at the grocery store and eat at our own pace, no servers necessary. But when we did eat out, I swallowed hard and signed my name, each time with no tip, each time feeling just a little bit bad about myself.
Now. Some would say “that’s just how they do it in Europe.” And if that’s your justification, if that’s how you’ve learned to travel, I get it. I’ll get to why that’s not accurate, but it’s quite a thing, knowing that restaurant servers in Europe don’t exactly have to worry about whether or not their guests leave a tip, because the restaurants pay them enough of a living wage to make it either way. I think that says something about the system here in the states, where it’s a constant battle to pick up tables and hope your guests will counter the imbalance of your beleaguered tip salary. But that’s neither here nor there. I was always of the belief that you treat each table equally and let the chips fall where they may, but that’s not always easy for someone whose light bill or mortgage depends on what does or does not get left on those tables.
Anyhow. On our first night in Austria, everything changed. Not because the process was suddenly different, but because we happened to be sitting next to a couple of German ladies who, when we asked, were able to offer us some advice about dealing with our check. Apparently, and we hadn’t realized this, servers always come to your table to tell you the amount, which is an intentional way of not only informing you of your total, but opening the door for you to say, without having been prompted, that you would like to leave more. And a favorable, complimentary tip is usually about 10%. So for example, that night, we received a bill for about $48. All I had to say, as the server stood there, was that I’d like for him to ring us up at $60. At which point, he thanked me profusely and we, in turn, thanked the ladies next to us.
What they indicated was that no, it’s not “common” for a guest to leave nothing. In fact, while servers are not trained to expect a tip, it would actually be unusual for a guest to completely walk away without having left at least a small gesture of added goodwill. So from then on, for the next week, we consistently listened to the amount being given to us by the server and kindly asked that he or she ring us up for about 10% above the price they were reading. And frankly, there were several occasions where multiple people took part in the service of our table, enough that it would have been difficult to determine who, precisely, was the server. Everyone just took care of everyone. No jealousy. No fighting. No scrounging for dollars (or Francs, or Euros). But each time, we left feeling like we finally understood something that might have otherwise been left unsaid, something in the dustbin of the unfamiliar and unspoken rules of overseas hospitality, that it’s actually still a thing, leaving a tip at a European restaurant.
This also leads me to reaffirm something I said a moment ago. Never in all my years of working in the United States did I expect, nor did I train servers to expect anything from their guests. Because the rules on tipping are unclear, unwritten, and inconsistent around the nation and around the world. I never prejudged my tables or my guests, never presumed that one person would leave nothing and thus allow myself to treat them like crap. I treated them all equally and I was thankful for whatever I got. Maybe I was just a European at heart, but it’s a philosophy I carried into the classroom, never predetermining the capability or the ultimate end of a child for whom it will be my responsibility to help and support.
Without question, the American hospitality system we work within is unjust and unfair, especially now, especially as ho-hum workers at a fast food chain who take my order for less than a minute have started to expect a similar bonus close or equal to that of a restaurant server who takes care of his/her table for an hour or more. Whether and when to leave a tip has gotten more and more shady in the United States, more and more difficult to process, especially for those in the aging population who can’t keep up with what the so-called rules were last year or the year before that.
But I do hope this helps my friends who are traveling abroad, and maybe those who happen to be here, wondering. And for the record, that dish in the photo was my favorite and most common breakfast in Austria: muesli with apples and oats.
Peace.
