Somewhere on the Gradient

Over the past year, over the past decade, over a lifetime of religious and non-religious affiliations, I have heard people argue that humankind is inherently bad, at its core, that goodness and civility is learned. I have also heard people argue, with great conviction, that humankind is inherently good, that it is only affected or nurtured by evil things, evil people, evil natures beyond itself. And I have even heard from those who say, with disingenuous apathy, that it doesn’t really matter, that we are whatever we are.

From inside our sequestered lives, where we generally keep to ourselves, to our immediate families, to our close knit group of friends, where all is seemingly good, it seems any of these answers would suffice. And frankly, for those dealing with turmoil and hardship and loss inside these sequestered walls, the same is certainly true. The world has its stuff, on its own, and so do we, on our own. There’s only so much we can give, only so much we can care about in a given day, in a given month, in a given year.

So why ask? Why ponder the inherent nature of humankind, be it good or bad?

Because our kids see the world. And we see the world. All of us see it. There is no such thing as a truly sequestered life, one that allows all of us, and our children, to escape the questions of human nature. Stabbings in New York. A shooting in Texas. A civil war in Syria, and Colombia, and Myanmar. Why good people do bad things. Why bad people don’t do good things. Why everyone doesn’t just leave everyone alone to do their own things.

Personally, I believe we are born selfish, that greed and egotism is in our nature, that being good or doing good is learned, that not everyone has the privilege or the opportunity to experience civility, to be civil, to strengthen the muscle of restraint, to push back against the instincts of anger and revenge. To this end, I am just as guilty. I am admittedly selfish and self-involved, full of vanity and pride, impatient and filled with rage and self-loathing when someone hinders my momentum to do whatever it is I had in mind to do. One could argue that I am only as good as I have learned to be. Perhaps you disagree.

But I have also encountered far more people who see this argument from a different point of view, that goodness lies deep within us from the day of our birth. What matters to me isn’t the difference of opinion. What matters, to me, is that we be honest and real about who we are, personally, collectively, and globally, that we have the conversation, with ourselves and with each other. Because anything less, I believe, cheapens the lessons we teach our children about good and bad, right and wrong.

Going into 2020, may we all concede, amidst a life of inevitable challenge, that we and everyone around us are somewhere on the gradient between good and bad, that none of us have a monopoly on righteousness, that we can and that we should strive to be better, to care more, to do more than we have to this point.